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| "IF YOU ARE A BIKER OR LIKE MINDED BE SURE TO ASK ME ABOUT MY CLUB "BIKERS OF YUWIE" |
| Ideas I would Like to See on Yuiwe | Ideas I would Like to See on Yuiwe
With all the changes going on around the web it would be nice to see more changes on yuwie. Here are a few of my ideas after reading list yours and tell your friends so they can come and tell thiers. If you haven't heard a rumor start one
Yuwie membership ugrades
Level one bulk email once a month as to wake up our deadbeat referrals
allowing you to see your intire down line through level ten
Yuwie membership upgrades would increase the RSR tremendously. Leavel on bulk emais is a no brainer. Being able to see all levels through ten would help you keep those that are using yuwie active. The time is now to wake Yuwie up before we settle in the dust.
your friend,
Kenny Leach
AKA; kenny8262
| | Posted: 8/19/2009 at 10:12 | Read 111 times | 10 comments | Leave Comment |
 | CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY | ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET12659 ---
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,
she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
what he had to say for himself.
The man replied,
'Well your Honor, it was like this:
when the lady got on the bus,
I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said,
'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'
... I just lost it.'
'CASE DISMISSED!!'
Scottsman sent me this | | Posted: 7/22/2009 at 10:09 | Read 97 times | 4 comments | Leave Comment |
| Joke of the centrury |
Famous Hollywood Actor
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said 'I want to be a movie star.' Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway , he had the right credentials . The agent asked, 'What's your name?' The guy said, 'My name is Penis van Lesbian.' The agent said, 'Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name.' 'I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.' The agent said, 'Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.' 'So be it! I guess we will not do business together' the guy said and he left the agent's office. FIVE YEARS LATER ..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed... 'Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice.. Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke
| | Posted: 7/21/2009 at 10:51 | Read 101 times | 4 comments | Leave Comment |
| Motorcycle tool-guide |
Motorcycle tool-guide
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• Eight-Foot Long Douglas Fir 2X4 - used for levering a bike upright after using a hydraulic jack on the bike.
• Hydraulic Bike Jack/Platform - ingeniously-designed tool for flipping bikes onto their sides, usually when you're alone in the shop.
• Wire Wheel - cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Hand me 'nother beer, Bubba!"
• Drill Press - a tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against the Pamela Anderson poster over the bench grinder.
• Oxy Acetylene torch - used almost entirely for lighting those stale garage cigarettes you keep hidden in the back of the Whitworth socket drawer (What wife would think to look in there?) because you can never remember to buy lighter fluid for the Zippo lighter you got from the PX at Fort Campbell.
• Vice-Grips - used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
• Electric Hand Drill - normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling roll-bar mounting holes in the floor of a sports car just above the brake line that goes to the rear axle.
• Mechanic's Knife - used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing leathers or bike covers.
• Hammer - originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive chrome scooter parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
• Tweezers - a tool for removing wood splinters.
• Phone - tool for calling your neighbor Bubba to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack. • Snap-On Gasket Scraper - theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
• E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor - a tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
• Two-Ton Hydraulic Engine Hoist - a handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and hydraulic clutch lines you may have forgotten to disconnect. Almost capable of lifting a Gold Wing off the floor.
• Craftsman 1/2 x 16 Inch Screwdriver - a large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.
• Battery - electrolyte Tester A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from scooter battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought. • Hacksaw - one of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
• Trouble Light - the mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin", which is not otherwise found in garages at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
• Air Compressor - a machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty suspension bolts last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and rounds them off.
• Phillips Screwdriver - normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
• Timing Light - a stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup on crankshaft pulleys.
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| | Posted: 8/5/2009 at 09:18 | Read 102 times | 0 comments | Leave Comment |
| Stolen Lunch |
Stolen Lunch
A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to
slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his
bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl and the biker
brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has seen the whole scene and addressing the biker, says, "Sir, this
was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life." The biker
humbly responded, "Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just
saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."
"Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and
tomorrow's paper will have this on the first page. What kind of motorcycle do you
ride?" "A Harley Davidson!" he said proudly! “Hmmmm?” said the reporter
suspiciously. The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed
brings news of his actions, and reads on first page: BIKER GANG MEMBER
ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.
| | Posted: 7/28/2009 at 08:16 | Read 116 times | 3 comments | Leave Comment |
| Arthur Davidson in Heaven | Arthur Davidson in Heaven
Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation died and went to Heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven".
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the throne room, and introduced him to God.
Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Oh, yes." "Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
- There is too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
- It chatters constantly at high speeds.
- Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
- The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust, and finally,
- The maintenance costs are outrageous."
"Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his celestial Super Computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it."Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention then yours".
| | Posted: 7/27/2009 at 09:59 | Read 102 times | 0 comments | Leave Comment |
| crusty old biker | crusty old biker
A crusty old biker, out on a long summer ride in the country, pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside. As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar....... COLD BEER: $2.00 HAMBURGER: $2.25 CHEESEBURGER: $2.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50 HAND JOB: $50.00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers. She glides down behind the bar to the old biker. "Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?" The old biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs, "Why yes. Yes, I sure am." The old biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, 'cause I want a cheeseburger." | | Posted: 7/25/2009 at 19:33 | Read 109 times | 0 comments | Leave Comment |
| Case of Mistaken Identity |
Case of Mistaken Identity
The 7 Dwarves are standing outside a convent. Happy goes and knocks on the door. A nun answers and says "Can I help you, my child?" Happy says "Are there any 3 foot nuns in this convent?" The nun is puzzled, and says "No, there are no 3 foot nuns in this convent." Happy thinks for a minute, then says "Are there any 3 foot nuns in this city?" The nun says "No, there are no 3 foot nuns in this city." So Happy leaves and forms a huddle with the rest of the dwarves. Then a few minutes later, Doc leaves the huddle and goes and knocks on the door. The same nun answers and says "What now?" Doc says, "Ok, are there any 3 foot nuns in this state?" The nun says "No! There are no 3 foot nuns!" Doc thinks, then says "Are there any 3 foot nuns in this country?" The nun is starting to get mad, and says "NO! THERE ARE NO 3 FOOT NUNS!" So Doc leaves and returns to the huddle. A few minutes later, Sleepy goes and knocks on the door. The same nun answers. Sleepy says "Are there any 3 foot nuns on this continent?" The nun says "NO!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THERE ARE NO 3 FOOT NUNS!!" Sleepy says "Are there any 3 foot nuns anywhere in the world?" The nun says "NO!!" and slams the door in this face. Sleepy returns to the huddle, then a few minutes later, all the dwarves start running around laughing and chanting "DOPEY SCREWED A PENGUIN! DOPEY SCREWED A PENGUIN!"
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| | Posted: 7/24/2009 at 11:01 | Read 107 times | 0 comments | Leave Comment |
| Golden Urinals |
Golden Urinals
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands.
"At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - hell, even the urinal's gold!"
The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story.
"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
"Yes it is," bartender answers.
"Do you have huge golden doors?"
"Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"
"Most certainly do."
"What about golden urinals?"
There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!
| | Posted: 7/24/2009 at 05:36 | Read 92 times | 0 comments | Leave Comment |
| Unambiguous advertising | Unambiguous advertising
I go over to the free encyclopedia today, write a post establishing my business. They deleted it calling it “Unambiguous advertising”. Guess if I am going to do research and share things there, I should hire a professional writer to do it for me. I shared information details about my business location, date founded, contact information, and our presence on the web. Apparently they did not take so kindly to the last part. That being said I reread their “terms of service” and decided to put some of my blogs in a pending edit status since I generally have a signature url at the end of all post. I do not want to be known as a “unambiguous advertiser”, in any of my ventures. I am merely trying to get my info on this information highway.
Kenny Leach
AKA; kenny8262 | | Posted: 8/20/2009 at 00:35 | Read 64 times | 0 comments | Leave Comment |
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| kenny8262 | "Begin, Continue,(2 keys of success) do something different everyday publishing often. kenny8262"
47 years old
Male
Panama City Beach, FL
Hometown: CLAYHATTCHEE,ALABAMA
Last Login: 11/21/2009
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